An email I wrote to Erroll this evening:
Friday 31st March 2017
Erroll Darling I write you after falling asleep with Linus at 8pm then waking at midnight. He is fast asleep; its 3am in Athens.
I know its only been a few days but Kingsley no longer asks for the boob nor does he scratch at my chest for it. Its a time of opposite emotions for me now: our baby is no longer a toddler as he is over 3 years of age and as of last night didn’t stress himself for boob to help him sleep. He now recieves back rubs and stories of our day whispered in his ear and this puts him into a slumber. So my heart is proud of his own achievement yet my mind goes back to tender times together…and my boobs are sighing with relief for they are finally liberated.
You’ve been part of this transition darling: the day naps and night sleeps were a battle of emotional wills for those few days before we flew Athens. As you saw, I kept my bra and tshirt on as he yelped for the comfort of boob. One day he just could not nap, even after back rubs, stories, nursery rhymes, even scolding and smacking him on his pyjama-covered bum to JUST BLOODYWELL FALL A SLEEP KINGSLEY!! That very afternoon we took him, napless, to the Dubai Aquarium. That very night I persevered with my gentle strategy of helping him find another means to fall asleep…and it worked: he passed out as you know.
Then on board to Athens Kingsley was beyond hyper/exhausted /asking me to help him fall asleep. I cradled him, rocked him, whispered love stories to him, never let him cry but didn’t give him the boob. I reitetated my reasons he’d been told for a few day before: that once we fly to Greece there will no longer be boobs and that my boobs still hurt. His good nature exceeded even my expectations and he managed to deal with his new boobless reality without tears. In the cab ride into Athens he passed out in his car seat. Then that very first night in Athens Kingsley fell asleep to my lullabies and back rubs; still no crying. And just 6 hours ago at 8pm he again jumped in bed, lay on his back and let me rub/whisper in his ear for sleep.
Back when we had Kingsley and throughout his 3.3 years of life you and I came together as one in our decision to breastfeed Kingsley till when the right time to stop came along. Its now darling. He is sleeping without. And never shed a tear over it.