Full Time Mumma: Tantrums

28th August 2016

A very nervous and upset fellow Mumma asked how to deal well with tantrums, as she recently shocked even herself by losing her patience with her daughter, hitting her across the arm. She asked what I do with Kingsley when he chucks a tantrum. Here is my reply…

I never ignore or scream back these days since I found success with a new technique!! Here it is: as soon as Kingsley begins to lose it/tantrum, I immediately bend down to his eye level, hold him, tell him ‘yes, I hear you, I hear you’; ask him what exactly he wants ‘you upset because you want to play with the pens right now?’ And once he says ‘yes yes’, through his sobs, I immediately empathize with him ‘ahh yes, how exciting; coloring in with your PENS! I love your pens TOO!!’ And he settles a bit which buys me time. He quietens and I say, let’s go together to find that AMAZING BOOK we read yesterday which you love and I think it is in here, because if I remember correctly the little monkey was playing with his dolls…’ And on and on I go to divert his attention.

I swear by it: eye level, hugs, empathize, divert attention, give the toddler a chance to explain himself / to be heard. Plus it’s fun, and everyone trusts one another, and minimizes tears.

I have been using this methods for ages…since my little man has started coming into his own character and expressing his likes. I am forever coming down to his eye level and having ‘chats’ with him…in a way being a parent as best I can in order to develop his confidence and trust with me. Plus I can’t stand tantrums so do as much self-work as possible to learn new techniques. Here we are…