16-07-16 Conrad Hotel Wins

Saturday 16th July 2016

I saved myself an awful lot of embarrassment – and a fistful of dollars – today at the pool by taking Kingsley to the loo no less than three times when he showed signs of straining. What a champ he is these days what with alerting me when he does a poo, albeit the instant he is actually laying one. Because I literally follow him everywhere he goes keeping an eye on his face and body gestures I now can pick up on cues that he is going for gold. And sure enough he did – three times – mercifully out of the pool. Phew: I won’t be liable for the draining, disinfecting and refilling of one of Dubai’s largest urban pools this time.

This means however that I cannot – and do not – ever ‘relax by the pool’ or even sit on the lounge chair, let alone lay on it. And I never, ever bring reading material with me. Clearly sunbathing will have to wait till the child is fourteen. Instead I helicopter parent, forever asking the boy, wherever we are be it home, mall or beach, whether he needs to go and praise him with all the enthusiasm I can muster on the day when he actually does tell me he is or has done one. Our next step is for Kingsley to tell me before he is actually shitting. That way I can be done with these expensive bloody HUGGIES.

Today at the glorious Conrad Hotel Purobeach Club our boy did us proud as he raced around on the grass or played under the outdoor shower; not once but three times softly declaring to me that he had done a poo (‘Mammá, ékana kaká’). Clap clap clap, kiss kiss kiss, hugs and then gingerly I lift him up making our way to the bathroom. Stinking swimwear but not stinking poolwater. WIN! We are definitely allowed back to the Conrad!!