Ahh, that transition into parenthood…what on earth does it mean for first-time fathers? Here are some gold nuggets I have read that should apply to Erroll:
1. Make sure that you start catching up on sleep and relaxing now, as much as possible – Erroll sleeps an average of 12 hours out of every 24. Lets see if that lasts!!
2. Help your partner set up the baby’s room. Er, we live in a one-bedroom (mercifully two-bathroom) superhigh-rise in Dubai. No baby-room for you, Seahorse…
3. Parenting classes can be helpful for new parents and parents to be. When? The man flies each week for Emirates. No classes for Erroll, then.
4. Read parenting books & magazines. Nah; Erroll prefers to watch a UFC fight on his I-Pad, and give me blow-by-blow detailed descriptions on who knocked-out who.
5. Know how to properly put your baby’s car seat into your car. Crap: we don’t own a car…
6. Discuss your fears and insecurities with a family member or friend or wife. I AM MORE FRIGHTNENED THAN ERROLL!!!! 3 MORE WEEKS TILL SEAHORSE MAKES A PREMIER APPEARANCE!!!!
7. Sing and talk to the baby before it’s born. This, Erroll performs with relish. Especially when he gets home from a large night on the cans with his mates, or when rendered particularly jolly after a booze-fuelled party or wedding (see pictures).
8. Talk about your partner’s expectations of you during the birth. WILL I GET MY BODY BACK??!! Right now I resemble a lady-walrus and even my voice seems to have changed with this extra 18 kilograms I carry.
Right now both Erroll and I are chirpy in the delusory world of our wee coupledom. He rubs my belly, makes silly noises into it, and I, in turn, encourage Erroll to play hard and party with his small group of mates. Seahorse is bucking a lot and I pray he or she remains in utero for exactly 3 more weeks. After that, all the above shall apply…and the tears will come. Oh-Daddy!!