Saturday 15th November 2014
EMERGENCY!! Yellow runny poo alert…all over our prized flokati rug!!!!! AND I HAVE A RAGING HANGOVER!!!
Why the poo today, Kingsley? Well I shall tell you why, dear mother. It is because my belly reacted to all the BOOZE YOU DRANK YESTERDAY AT BRUNCH…and now you shall pay for this transgression by cleaning up plops of poo on tiles and floors, washing my bum, dealing with endless changes of clothing and scrubbing the carpet too.
Well, erm, er…yeas, its true son. I did in fact enjoy a drink of the good stuff yesterday at the office Christmas party. It came in a yellow-labeled bottle and my colleagues shoved a glass in my hand, directed the waiter to pour generously, and watched my face as the taste of Verve Clicquot took over. Yes, I confess: I got sloshed, hammered, trolleyed, you name it son. At our office Christmas party. And the Verve Clicquot went down like honey!! Sorry about the poo darling one…