10-07-16 Father Figure Reunion

Sunday 10th July 2016

For eighteen days now, our family has been reunited – a long time in our books since all three of us travel incessantly, Erroll for work and me/child for pleasure. This time together has been immeasurably good for our collective soul, for rekindling sparks and especially welcome is Kingsley’s calmer behaviour since spending day and night with his dad.

Once again Erroll is home with us today – not flying – and Kingsley gets to wake up next to him so the joys of this ever growing father-son bond I witness closely albeit without the benefit of my first cup of tea. Even though Kingsley falls asleep on the breast and is usually glued to my side through the night, it’s every morning that I see just how the love and desire to engage his dad becomes ignited.

As a toddler Kingsley seeks his dad for so much more than he used to in earlier years/months. He now likes to model what his dad does, says, eats, wears. How he walks, talks, acts. From morning till night Erroll is followed to the loo, shower, bedroom and asked not to go /come back should Erroll forget to inform his son of his whereabouts, even on our moderately sized apartment. I can very clearly see how important it is for Erroll to be physically close and available to his son. Those five weeks recently spent in Greece, just Kingsley and I, where Kingsley become more and more of a loose canon, uncontrollable and seeking a male in his life (dare I admit it: desperate for his dad) has made me recognize the critical importance of a positive father figure’s influence on our son’s behaviour (and doubtless, frame of mind).

From an academic perspective, the same holds true: studies have consistently shown that adolescent boys who have a father figure in their lives are significantly less likely to engage in subsequent delinquent behavior than are their peers with no father in their lives. So with a loving, kind and fully present dad like Erroll is when with his son, our little wild boy will receive the very best of manly advise. There will be no delinquency in our future household; there are too many free kisses given for that nonsense to happen.

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